April Fool

I had this whole post planned about April Fool's day - the history, customs in various parts of the world, funny tricks that you should play on your friends. And then when it came time to actually sit down and write the stupid thing, nothing was coming out. I'd write in starts and stutters, getting a paragraph or two before erasing everything and starting all over again.

I don't really like April Fool's, and this year I really don't care about it. There's so much more going on in my life than playing pranks, much as I wish I could relax and think about something easy and fun and childish.

Brian put in his two weeks notice at work last week. He got a slew of commissions for his furniture business, enough that he basically either had to quit or hire someone to work for the company. I'm really excited for him, and proud of him - he's actually making his dreams come true, something that, as I've said before, I've largely given up on for myself. I encouraged him to do it, and it's definitely the right decision for him, but at the same time, it means my life is going to change. If there's a month where he doesn't have anything coming in, it's my check we'll be depending on to pay the bills. For someone who is historically not very responsible with her money, that's a little nerve wracking, you know?

On top of that, we've got the move coming up as well. It's not a thing that's out there in the distance anymore, but something up close and personal. We're actively looking for an apartment now; he went and saw a place today, I'm going to see one on Saturday, and we're figuring out when we can head down to the neighborhood we want to move to and see if there are any For Rent signs hanging on doors or fences. A month from now, I'm going to be settling into a new place in a new neighborhood, figuring out how to get to work in the morning, where to get my groceries, what there is to do close by. 

I'm finally doing managerial stuff at work. I'm doing reviews, I'm acting as liaison between different departments and different companies, and generally feeling like I have to be a model employee because I've discovered that I really want everyone in my department to be awesome, and the best way to do that is to be awesome myself. 

Oh, and my birthday is in less than three weeks. I'm not going to be in my mid-20s anymore, but my late-20s, and that's just fucking weird.

Me at age... 19, probably? 

Me at age... 19, probably? 

I love change, and I'm excited about all of the new things going on in my life, but I've also got a whole bunch of nervous anxiety roiling in my belly. I'm seriously farting so much lately. Fear and indigestion are basically the same thing to my body. And now you all know me just a little bit better.

So that's my life. I'm scared and I'm happy, and I'm not totally convinced that I know what I'm doing. Time is whipping past me, and I feel like I'm in a train going 120 miles an hour while the scenery just flies by.